There are five ways to conquer a mountain but only four that are effective: you can climb it, tunnel through it, dig below it, or remove it. The fifth way is to go around it, to avoid it. That may be the easiest way too, but you will get nothing in return for going around it. Life is full of challenges, but they exist so they can be overcome. A landscape where great achievements are made is not a level field. It is a landscape full of obstacles and barriers. If you have a mountain in your way, you need to conquer it. A successful person has a positive attitude toward removing obstacles, an attitude conducive to breaking barriers.

It is not a matter of whether we will face challenges or not, but a matter of what we will do when challenges come. If your victory is at the top of the mountain, then climb the mountain. There is always a price to pay to reach the summit, but nothing equates to the achievement found on the mountaintop. No one finds themselves on the top of the mountain because they drifted onto it. Climbing a mountain is difficult but worth it. If you and I would keep our eyes on the prize at the top, paying the price to get there becomes a doable task. The reason most people do not strive to overcome is that they lost sight of the prize.
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One of the greatest attributes of achievers is that they are consistently persistent. They do not give up in the face of difficulty and adversity. To make strides, become successful, and make a difference, we must develop the mindset of an overcomer. Then we can climb the mountain, cross the river, jump the hurdle, and navigate the complex landscape of life. We must maintain a positive can-do attitude when the going gets tough. I do not know what lies ahead of you but I do know that you can keep pushing through, even when it is not going the way you want.

In this current age of social media, society has made us believe that those who have thousands of followers and millions of views on their posts are the influencers. People have also generally attributed influence on those orators who command an enormous amount of crowd as they appeal to the psyche of their listeners. Yes, you can influence a lot of people at once with an innumerable following on social media. Similarly, you can meddle with the thought process of many people by offering emotional speeches that are difficult to resist. However, that is not all that there is when it comes to influencing others. Influence is not just about entertainment and the playing of mind games. Real influence is one that makes people better for the good of society.

If you have an opportunity to connect with people through your daily endeavour at work, home or community, you have the best opportunity to be an influencer. You do not need the social media definition of an influencer before you acknowledge that you are one. What it requires for you to become an influencer is to let your story shine through, to become an inspiration for other people. You and I can be so good at what we do such that others trust our opinions and actions. Once people begin to see you as one to go to, learn from or take guidance from, then you are an influencer. That means that you can be the best of influencers whether the whole world knows you or not.
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How many people cross your path daily? Do you interact with others, work with others, live with others, lead others or care for others? Then, let them trust you to the extent of changing their own actions because of the weight of your character, expertise and the value you add to society. We should not be deceived; the number of social media following does not make the influencer but the value of contributions being made by an individual. There are lots of noise makers out there, who lack the character and the positive influence to build society. Stop seeking attention. Seek character and value instead. You too are an influencer.

One thing I have always observed is that leaders find it difficult to hide among the crowd. Each time I am amidst people doing things together, I try to watch to see who the real leader is. Most of the time, the real leader is not the one calling the shots and bossing everyone around. It is usually the one who sees the big picture, takes initiative, asks important questions, cooperates with others, and provides support for others. And that does not mean the one who has the biggest title in the group. Real leaders lead whether they are designated as leaders or not. The hallmark of leadership is the capacity to reproduce leadership in others. Those who help other people discover and develop who they are demonstrate the highest level of leadership.

Over a long period of time humans have exhibited leadership in various ways and in different fields of endeavour depending on where the strengths and passions of each person lie. Some people lead in their professional career, making significant contributions meaningfully and impactfully, and influencing others to do similarly. We have seen leadership in public space, sports, religion, entertainment, academia, etc. Meanwhile, when you see a lot of resources begin to flow in a certain direction, you are likely to see leaders on the other end. That is because leadership is valuable, and resources flow where value is created. In other words, one of the ways to guarantee success in whatsoever we are doing is to take on the leadership responsibility.
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The good news is that leadership does not mean power, position or money. Real leaders are not defined by conferred authority. Leaders are not crowned. Instead, leaders are grown. Each of us has the seed of leadership in us that we can nurture and grow. We can grow in skills, talent, perspective, empathy, compassion, emotional stability, resilience, resolve, influence and the ability to work with others. An individual can lead themself to great success while helping others to do the same. Through whom you are and what you do, you can become an inspiration to others. You can be the light in a world that is currently ravaged with darkness. You can be a veritable leader.

Actions for the week

1. As a leader, you must determine to be better today than you were yesterday. That is called growth. By growing daily, you will have the capacity to do bigger things.
2. Become an inspiration to others by defining a trajectory for yourself, getting on the journey and showing others how they too can join in the journey.

Share this message with those in your circle.

​Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books

I heard someone say that people use vulgar language because they have not added enough words to their vocabulary. Well, that may or may not be exactly true. I have seen many educated people with knowledge of lots of words but who prefer to use the offensive ones. It is a matter of our choices of words. It takes a significant amount of time to develop our everyday language. Most of the words we use regularly do not come out of our mouths by accident. We learn them over time, and mostly unconsciously as we expose ourselves to various media and associations. The worrisome part of using language is that of speaking without grace, using unkind words that have the power to pierce through another person’s heart like an arrow.

The way we use words is one of the most accurate indications of our level of maturity. Those who have emotional stability choose their words carefully. In fact, they have learnt to naturally speak in a modest and agreeable manner. That is not the same as being untruthful, but it means that we can communicate truth in a non-offensive way. There is no value in cutting others down with words, uttering disparaging remarks or using caustic expressions to describe issues. There is no virtue in being brutal with words. Moreso, it is impossible to roll back any words we utter, and everyone is responsible for their disposition to others.
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I know this for a fact. A gentle tongue can do a lot of wonders. I have seen gently spoken and well-thought-through words change the minds of people who would normally not yield. I have seen doors open to people because of the use of gracious words and kindheartedness. Here is a call to tenderness; a call to each one of us to become better at using our words. Even when others talk to us unkindly, we can show them a higher way with our gentle words. It may not be easy in practice, but we can all learn and grow. It is also interesting to note that your words reflect the content of your heart. Let your heart be full of tenderness and you will see your words change. Let your tongue be gentle.

Have you ever wondered why so many people can be attracted to a certain individual, as if that individual has a magical magnet that draws other people to them? I have met several people like that. They command respect, ooze affection and make it easy to get along with them. You may describe such people as charming, pleasant or lovely. An important aspect of being charming is that those who naturally draw others to themselves do not necessarily fit in with the general definition of physical beauty. However, it is as if something invisible makes them easy to love, work with or befriend. That makes me think that becoming desirable has more to do with what we produce from the inside of us. That includes how we think, talk, act and relate with those around us.

The fact is that someone may be physically beautiful and yet be annoyingly disgusting to relate with, while another person may not be that physically attractive but is very easy to love and do life with. The personality that you exude determines whether people will cling to you or resist you. No matter how handsome or beautiful you think you are, it takes an appealing personality to become a person people can love. No one becomes delectable just because they put on a nice-looking dress and wear the most expensive make-up. Real beauty comes first from the inside, and it radiates outward. Even if someone is mistaken for a likable personality because of their attractive physical appearance, it is only a matter of time before the hypnotic spell is broken.
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It is possible for you and me to become irresistible to others. A desirable and inviting personality can open doors to many opportunities. When people get closer to you to discover your positive vibe and your respectable character, it becomes easy for them to trust you and relate with you. That does not mean that there a no people that take advantage of good people to do bad things. Nevertheless, you are likely to attract the kind of person that you are. If your heart is right, you will attract the right kind of person to yourself. The main point here is to make yourself irresistible; to become someone others want to relate and do business with. 

I have not seen anything great, significant or groundbreaking done without determination. I have noticed that most achievers have something in common. They act as if they have been given a final proposition. They usually reach a resolve that what they are doing is so serious that it must be achieved. In reality, big things require big ambitions. No one stumbles on greatness. Unless we turn our affairs into serious business, we are not ready for the big hit. It is only a matter of whether we are ready to do what it takes; whether we will stay true to our resolve and refuse the temptation to back out of the deal.

Here is a call to each one of us to examine our approach to our own endeavours. Do we really have the courage to demand of ourselves that which it must take to achieve something big? The alternative is obvious. It is called settling for less. Settling for something less than our potential because we are unable to commit ourselves to something greater. Without giving ourselves the ultimatum, demanding of ourselves something that looks like the extreme of commitments, we may still be limited to what whims can bring our way. The truth is that most of the great things we see people achieve are products of unrepentant determination. In fact, sometimes we need to be unyieldingly persistent or even obstinate as we give ourselves to that which we have resolved to do.
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What are you doing? What are your dreams and aspirations? You may desire to build your family, reach a career milestone, contribute something specific to your community, invent something new or even be a better person in some way. Think about how beautiful and fulfilling it would be if you achieved them. If your desire is to reach your goals, then give yourself the ultimatum. Present to yourself a final proposition on achieving your goals. Tell yourself that you must do it. That that resolve get you to work and see everything work together to make your dream a reality.

Believe me, a town of over 3,000 people in Manitoba is named Ebb and Flow. Well, it is located on a lake called Ebb and Flow. I remember the days when my family explored the Prairie Mountain region, lodging in cabins, visiting family and spending time at Clear Lake. We would always pass through Ebb and Flow. The name of the town and the ebb and flow of the lake always gets me thinking. I imagine that we all pass through ebb and flow as we journey onward in life. In fact, we spend the most part of our journey in ebb and flow. What do I mean by that? Our lives are composed of a series of ups and downs, of rising tides and fading ebbs.

Sometimes we see the tides rising, with the winds blowing in our favour. We enjoy the feeling of success, the euphoria and the sense of fulfilment that accompanies our accomplishments, well-being and good things surrounding us. However, we know that the tides do not stay up forever. The upward flow is succeeded by the ebb, the recession and fading out of the tide. However, most of us have challenges dealing with the ebb. We do not want the flowing back, the abatement or decline which cycles alongside the highs of life. Nevertheless, we all must face the fact that changes and, in fact, constant changes are part and parcel of our daily life. As the tide flows inward and outward of the ocean, creating constant fluctuations, so does life deal frequent changes to each one of us.
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Instead of getting upset by the ebb and flow, we should learn to become unperturbed as the tide rises and falls. Getting agitated when things are not going well will not help solve the problem. There is no point getting worked up, especially when we cannot control the situation. Someone on a sailboat may not control the wind but can adjust the sail. Most of the time, we lack control over circumstances external to us, but we can adjust our attitudes, thoughts, and actions to arrive at our destination. The rising and fading of tides are normal. Don’t let the situation overwhelm you. Don’t get knocked over by the waves.

I am yet to see anyone who needs absolutely no help from anyone else. People may pretend to be all-sufficient on their own, but we know that is not true. The greatest of people in history and in our time today have used the help of those around them. Those who decide to live alone on their private island suffer a bit. Or maybe the right word is not “suffer” but “miss-out”. They miss out on the great opportunity to get the support they require to get where they are meant to be. In fact, one may say that it is arrogant to think that you don’t need anyone to accomplish what you are doing. If you are someone who carries a big idea or has a sizeable responsibility, you will realize that you need others to help you make an impact that no individual can single-handedly make.

Sometimes what we are carrying may not be an idea. It may be a burden, a heavy weight that we carry in our minds or in our lives which makes things somewhat difficult. At times, we carry problems and issues that are heavier than we can carry alone. The truth is that we as humans are not perfect in anything. If you live in the real world, you will have challenges and you will face difficult situations that are typical in our world. None of us is immune to burden, weights, and issues of life. However, we do not need to scuffle with life all alone. When we are carrying burdens, those are times we can take some help from others.
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What do you carry? Do you carry great responsibilities at home, work or community? Do you have an assignment big enough that you know you cannot do it alone? Maybe your own situation is such that you are weighed down by challenges. This message is about letting other people help you carry the load. When the load is heavier than you can carry, then allow those who would help to do so. We should stop playing superheroes. Everyone needs help. If anyone lends a genuine helping hand to you, take it and use the help. Let them help you carry the load.

Everyone has their own capacity. At any point in time, your capacity to do certain things is just what it is. For example, you may have the capacity to lift 200 pounds of weight or the capacity to run 10 kilometers marathon. It is what it is. Meanwhile, the so-called capacity can be altered. Note that I said altered because it can either be increased or diminished. One thing I know is that each one of us can be better than our best. At the point where we think we have no more capacity left, that is where the opportunity for growth begins. You and I know that we humans have continued to push the limits of achievements in every field of endeavour. In fact, there is no such thing as a “limit” when it comes to human ability.

That leads me to question why many of us grow quickly just to settle into a comfort zone. Why do we allow ourselves to march around the same circle on the plateau of life? After all, the pinnacle that we think we have reached may be the lower level for another person. It is all relative. That makes me think that none of us will ever become completely sold out. We will always have something more to offer no matter what circumstance we find ourselves. Our abilities and talents are not like stock items or merchandise that can be out of supply because of demand. You and I are much more loaded than we think. You can extend your limit when you think you have reached your maximum capacity.
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Here is my message to you. You are not sold out yet. You have many more arrows in your quiver. You have much more to offer at home, at work and in the community. It is not yet time to “retire” but a time to “refire”. Do not give in to settling for the limit.. Everyone is limited only by their own imagination. Let’s keep flying, soaring like the eagle.

Much earlier in my career I had expected that everyone in a big team or organization would share the same kind of conduct. However, I quickly realized that people came from various kinds of backgrounds, experiences, and ideologies that had shaped their view of the world and the people around them. That is true for every one of us. We see things differently; therefore, we decide differently, and we act differently. Your daily thoughts may be the exact opposite of those of someone next to you. The things that excite you may not move others, and what you cherish may be the disdain of another person. Meanwhile, to make society function properly, we must come to terms with others around us. It is quite easy to find oneself on the opposite side of the divide with others. If most of us do not embrace cooperation and comradeship, we will create chaos and anarchy.

While it is impractical and less innovative to make people think the same way, we all have a responsibility. We can present our views, opinions, and ideas in a manner that promotes respect and fairness with those around us. It is about playing with others in a gracious manner even though the field is not level and plane. I observed something important, that those who push their way through in a disrespectful and unfair manner do not go too far before getting into trouble. However, beautiful things happen when we play fairly, honestly, decently, truthfully, and graciously. After all, it is not all about you alone but about the good we can all share when we collectively build together.
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So, where is your sportsmanship? Even when it seems like you are not winning, could you keep playing graciously with others? In fact, sometimes we lose cheerfully so that a greater good can be promoted to the benefit of society. Resist the urge to pull others down. Refuse to cut other people’s livelihood. Reject treating anyone disrespectfully or contemptuously because you have the power. Don’t break the moral rules of kindness and respect for others. Love to love others and dislike to hate anyone. Play fairly and graciously. Let your sportsmanship shine through.

Maintaining an open mind is not something easy to do. It is easier to think and say that we are open minded than it is to practice. In fact, most people that think they are open minded are not. Look at it this way. Can you detach yourself from your opinions when you are working with others toward a solution? Most people cannot. We are naturally inclined to accept our viewpoints over those of others. Yet, without an open mind, we are limited to our own understanding. To be open-minded is to be broad-minded, to be receptive of new or different views and ideas. The opposite of open-mindedness is obvious. It is called bias or prejudice. I like to see it more like parochialism, the narrow-mindedness that prevents us from seeing things objectively.

The implications of a lack of open-mindedness are straightforward. Perhaps if someone is smart, they can achieve a few things with their own ideas alone. However, those who are open-minded have access to an unlimited number of ideas that help them develop bigger ideas. It is about being wise enough to recognize the richness of manifold ideas. Contrarily, prejudice and bias usually stand in the way of progress, causing a sabotage of opportunities. Those who are unreceptive don’t generally do great things. The best of achievements in our world today resulted from the abundance of great ideas from those whose minds are open.
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One more thing. The difference between those who see opportunities and those who see difficulties is the state of the mind, whether the individual’s mind is receptive or not. Give yourself a chance to do something different or something bigger by doing away with bias, partisanship and prejudice and embracing impartiality, tolerance, and open-mindedness. It is not a problem when those around you are not thinking like you. After all, we are all uniquely different from one another for a reason - so that we can, together, build something that no individual can build.

Actions for the week
1. Think about your approach to issues. Are you open-minded. In what areas can you maintain better open-mindedness?
2. Determine to always be tolerant, unbiased and willing to consider other people’s ideas.
3. Share this message with those in your circle.

I was speaking to one of my most respected long-term friends over the weekend. He said something that got stuck in my head – we can do most of the things we think are over our head. Some things are challenging to learn and to do. However, nothing is too hard to learn and do. There is a secret I discovered many years ago. It is a fact that the people that did great things in history and in our generation today did not know how to do them at first. Most of them only spearhead into the unknown. There is always a first time for anyone to do anything. I have let this understanding guide my thinking about myself over the years. In my mind, there is nothing I decide to do that I am unable to do.

Thinking that something is over one’s head is a big barrier that must be broken down. It has deterred many people from achieving what they have the potential to do. It is the reason the majority settle for less and watch other achievers fulfill their dreams. It takes consciousness, determination, and action to dismantle the notion that something is beyond you. Always remember that humans have done incredible things in this world. You and I also could do spectacular things, using our innate abilities to achieve what we can do. You have more capacity for great things than you think but only those who attempt big things achieve them.
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Here is where I am going with this discourse. Don’t allow anyone, anything, or any circumstance to limit you. Those who are doing greatly around you are not necessarily better than you. If someone else does big things, you too could do bigger things. The fact is that none of us has been able to exploit the limits of our abilities and that is because human abilities cannot be capped. Look around you. Then look inward to the ideas and the dreams that need to be borne from inside of you. Drop the self-doubt. Nothing is over your head. You can learn, do, and achieve whatsoever you would. 

Last summer, I spent many early mornings alone in Winnipeg’s King’s Park. You are probably wondering what I was doing there. I was there meditating, reconditioning my mind and recharging for the next phases of my life. I did that in the serenity and quietness of the early mornings. The only sounds I heard in the park were the chirping of the birds and the rustling of the trees, except when I walked by the water fountain at the centre of the park. The lake was calm and clear such that it became a mirror for the trees and bushes around. You may check the picture of the lake on my LinkedIn profile background. I enjoyed sitting on a small wooden bench by the side of the lake, lost in my own thoughts and ponderings as I imagined beautiful things for the future.

Do you also maintain a moment of quietness, a time when you shut yourself out of everything and everyone so that you can be in a thoughtful state? Maybe you don’t need to go to King’s Park or take a trip to the top of the Sleeping Giant in Ontario’s Thunder Bay. However, you may need to spend some time alone, away from the hustle and bustle of your surroundings, to meditate, think through and chew over the important aspects of life. There is an enormous amount of power in doing so from time to time. Maintaining moments of quietness can help in clear thinking, deep thinking, and constructive thinking. When we put on our thinking cap in a conducive atmosphere, we give power to our minds to help us shape schemes, generate ideas, solve problems, and develop a healthy mental state.
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If you are feeling overwhelmed with activities, bombarded by information from various quarters, struggling with a problem or just seeking more opportunities for success. I suggest that you develop a habit of quiet meditation in a clean, simple, and beautiful atmosphere. You will be surprised how much power is in quietness as you muse over your affairs to develop the ideas that you need to get ahead in every area of your life.

You have probably come across the expression “self-made millionaire”. There are lots of people out there being referred to as “self-made”. Maybe that needs to be put into proper context. Is there really anyone that could have made themself? Well, maybe some people went through so many challenges, figuring things out as they forge their way through the difficulties of life. We salute the courage of those who tried to succeed despite all odds. Similarly, we acknowledge those who had lots of opportunities, surrounded by help from many quarters, and who took advantage of their fortunate situations to make something meaningful out of life. That said, everyone who has made some kind of progress would realize that they had encounters with helpful people along the way.  

No matter how disadvantaged you think you are or how much you think you singlehandedly put in effort toward your success, it will be self-denial to think that no part of your progress could be attributed to the support of others. We have not yet seen a single soldier make a legion or a tree make a forest. Before getting pumped, taking all the credit for your grandeur, take a moment to think about the impact of those whose paths crossed yours as you made progress. Those could be your family, friends, supervisors, colleagues, students, community, or customers. Remember the days when you rode on the synergy you had with others to achieve your purpose. Don’t forget the contributions of those who gave you opportunities, those who spoke for you, those who supported you, those who stood by you and those who believed in you. 
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There may be only a fine line between your self-acclamation and blatant pride. Do not let egotism consume you. Acknowledge those who must be acknowledged. Esteem those who must be esteemed. Remember those who must be remembered. Let those who impacted you feel your gratitude. And if they can’t, let your humility become a new standard of success for the world to emulate. Don’t you ever forget. ​

“No matter how gloomy the cloud may be, there will still be a silver lining”. That’s one of the expressions of wisdom I grew up with. Sometimes we focus on things that are not working well at the expense of those that are. We tend to pay attention to our problems, forgetting all our blessings. It is normal for us to be aware of our pain but easy to disregard moments without pain. That natural tendency reflects in our disposition to life in general. We unconsciously project our challenges and frustrations for others to see, and that sometimes has an overall negative impact. Those who are not happy cannot spread happiness. Those who take pleasure in focusing on their pain alone are unlikely to bring joy to others. It is not about whether we have our own challenges or not, but our disposition that determines our ultimate experience.

One thing we must all realize is that no matter how difficult or problematic situations around us may be, there will always be one thing that we can be grateful for. Instead of expending our energy on shortfalls and inadequacies, we should rather focus our attention on that one thing that brings joy. A joyful heart glows, bringing illumination to the hearts of others around them. Our true experience in life is that which flows from our hearts. When the heart is right, everything will be alright. However, when the heart is filled with bitterness, nothing is alright. Meanwhile, whether the heart is joyful or not is not really about what happened to the person, but about the person’s perspectives and dispositions.
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It does seem like each one of us has a decision to make. Life will throw all sorts of things at us, and some of them may not be positive. The ups and downs are real for everyone as long as we live. Instead of letting life rob us of joy and gladness, we should let goodness flow from our hearts. In that case, our true experience will not depend on what happens or does not happen to us, but on an inner strength that comes from within. Let your heart glow. Be the spreader of joy.

We all have the tendency to keep our eyes on the goal, to focus on the end that we had envisioned. In most cases, we want to arrive at our destination early enough. I have had the opportunity to drive on Canada’s Highway 401 several times. I am one of those drivers that will max out the speed limit. What fascinates me is that I see many, like half of all vehicles on the highway, pass me. Then I wonder at what speed, and where on earth, they are going. Why the rush? What is so important? I realized that it is part of human nature to be in a hurry. We want to arrive quickly. Is that not the same way we handle many areas of life? Do we not want to graduate quickly, get rich quickly, marry quickly, get promoted quickly, succeed quickly, and make everything work quickly?
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The main shortfall of arriving at our destination quickly is that we miss the entire journey. We focus so much on the destination and, as such, we do not enjoy the adventure. However, life is a journey. It is not all about the destination but about how we experience the journey to the destination. Driving at a reckless speed on the highway would mean that you missed the beautiful landscape your car traversed as you progressed on your trip. You missed the sights, the trees, the flowers, the nice cars passing by and, sometimes, even the road signs that should have helped you avoid the police tickets. Instead of rushing through life, we can take time to enjoy every step of the way. Take time to enjoy your work, your family, your spouse, the growing years of your children, the time you spend in college and every aspect of your life.

Here is the reality. Most of us will get to the end of our lives just to realize that the achievements did not matter as much as the experience we had on the way to the achievements. The person you become and the encounters you have on your journey to success are more important than success itself. There is more to life than reaching a goal. The real experience is in the expedition. Don’t arrive without experiencing the journey.

Spring is surely my favorite season. It comes at the end of Winter and, here in Canada, Winter is quite cold and harsh. Spring provides us a break from Winter and ushers in a new opportunity for planting. When I looked outside through my house windows, I could see the grass already turning green. We should expect the rustling of leaves on trees; all forest lives and bushes to thrive again. As wonderful as Spring is, I don’t generally plant anything, although I had in the past. However, I see neighbours and friends care for their planting beds, putting seeds in their dark soil and expecting something to spring to life. It feels good to see plants sprout and grow, to experience the wonderful work of nature in action.

Have you ever thought about what Spring may mean outside of the natural concept? I perceive that many of us have experienced the Winter of life for so long. It is time to experience Spring. For some people, this may be the time to let their ideas spring to life. Have you carried dreams and aspirations for so long, such that you are wondering when is the right time to actualize them? Now is Spring. Get outside of the house, outside of your comfort zone, and get into the garden of life where ideas are planted and nurtured to life. You do not need to watch the weather for too long, calculating the best time to do what you would like to do. There is no perfect time in that sense. All you need to know is that it is Spring, so get out and sow the seed. Rain is surely coming.
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Whatsoever good you must do, go ahead and do it. Give that idea, plan, goal, project, or undertaking a chance. Allow that good relationship, charitable deed, help for others, service to the community and love for others to blossom and thrive. We create life by sowing the seed. We sustain life by caring for the plant. Do not let that seed lie lifeless in your hands. It is good stewardship to sow your seed and nurture the plant. Let it spring to life.

Do you know that a lot of people around you have an opinion about who you should be? It is the reason someone didn’t thank you when you did something good for them. They expected that you should do it, so what do they care about how you feel after doing it? It is also the reason people blamed you when you failed. You are supposed to be perfect. So, why did you fail? In fact, those around you always know what you should do, where you should go, how you should dress, what you should say, the friends you should have, what you should buy and the person you should marry. You are the only one who doesn’t know; others do. A lot of people are under the bondage of somebody in their life who has strong control over them. Note that I used the word “control”. Some people cannot live their own lives without following the dictates of others.
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One thing I learned very early in my life is to be independent. I learn from others, and I hear the opinions of others, but I strive to live based on my convictions and not by someone else’s control or manipulation. Should the outcome of your life not be based on your own convictions and philosophy? Do you have a personal philosophy that you developed based on knowledge, experience, and sound judgement? If you do, then you are not supposed to be carried around by the opinions of others. Opinions are abundant, but reasoning is scarce. The problem with being controlled by others is that those who are controlled do not feel fulfilled. There is no satisfaction in living one’s life just to please others.

It is time to stand up for yourself. It is time to exercise your freedom of thought and choice. After all, only you are responsible for the outcome of your life. No one may be held responsible for how things turn out for you and me. Everyone is responsible for their own decisions. Meanwhile, there is much wisdom in the counsel of those who are wise. You may ask for directions but ensure that you chart your own course. Don’t give control of your life to any human being. Live life thoughtfully and deliberately, taking personal responsibility every step of the way.

Have you met anyone who prefers to go solo, refusing any assignment that requires them to manage people and resources? There are those who would like to just be individual contributors at work or in the community. They may work with others but do not want to have responsibilities toward managing anyone. If you force management responsibilities on them, they may not do well because of attitude, not because of competence. Some people have their minds set that way, and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with that. The only implication is that such people may not wake up the leadership giant in themselves.

Don’t get me wrong. Leadership is not about bossing people around, but about inspiring others to be their best. And when you do, people will look up to you. In fact, they may want to be on your team. They may seek your tutelage, mentorship, direction, or management. In that case, the least you can do is to provide the leadership that people desire in you. Going solo may produce a lot of results, but inspiring others and providing direct input to their endeavours will produce manifold results. Most of the big things that have happened in our world were results of concerted effort of individuals who have come together under effective leadership and management of resources. Even when you think of individuals who have seemingly made landmarks on their own, you must realize that they usually have people working with or for them behind the scenes.
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While it is not wrong to be a lone star performer, it is more beneficial to spread one’s influence on others, providing direction, inspiration, and support as they also grow into their success. If you are a talented person, or you are gifted in an area, you can expand the impact of your work and life by helping others to succeed. Don’t say, “I don’t want to manage anybody.” Instead ask, “how can I have a better impact on the world by growing other people?”

One of my favorite movies is the 2006 drama film “Pursuit of Happyness” which starred Will Smith as Chris Gardner. The movie reminds me that we are all in the pursuit of happiness. That’s why you will always hear people say, “I just want to be happy”. However, how many people are truly happy? Or, maybe I should ask, “are you happy?”.  Well, most people are momentarily happy when something good happens to them. It may be the purchase of a new car, a promotion at work, a new child added to the family, getting married or even drinking through the happy hours of the weekend. One of the downsides of the happiness gained through things and events is that it is always short-lived. Anyone may drink wine and be happy but will return to their unhappy states as soon as the effect of the wine is gone.  

The truth is that no one can drink themselves into lasting happiness, neither can anyone dance away their sorrow. If you need to have lots of money to be happy, then you will need to keep getting big sums every day, with the daily amount increasing with time, for the rest of your life. Even with that, you will not find lasting peace and happiness. Some people also think that other people can make them happy. If I can only get married, or have nice friends, I will be so happy. Well, maybe for a while. One thing I have discovered is that happy people are usually happy all by themselves. If you must have a particular person in your life to maintain your happiness, then you may be preparing for the biggest disappointment in life. It is improbable that someone will constantly keep you happy forever. Similarly, if you cannot be happy when you have little, it is unlikely that you will be happy when you have much.
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You may wonder where I am going with this. Well, true happiness is one which does not depend on external factors. You may call it joy if you so desire. True happiness is a product of contentment. You and I need to take pleasure in who we are and what we have now and not worry about what and who we do not have. I have observed that most people are unhappy, keeping themselves in misery and gloom, just because of what they do not have or who they do not have in their life. Here is the truth, you cannot hold anyone or anything responsible for your happiness in life. Be grateful for your current state as you hope for better things.