Maintaining an open mind is not something easy to do. It is easier to think and say that we are open minded than it is to practice. In fact, most people that think they are open minded are not. Look at it this way. Can you detach yourself from your opinions when you are working with others toward a solution? Most people cannot. We are naturally inclined to accept our viewpoints over those of others. Yet, without an open mind, we are limited to our own understanding. To be open-minded is to be broad-minded, to be receptive of new or different views and ideas. The opposite of open-mindedness is obvious. It is called bias or prejudice. I like to see it more like parochialism, the narrow-mindedness that prevents us from seeing things objectively.

The implications of a lack of open-mindedness are straightforward. Perhaps if someone is smart, they can achieve a few things with their own ideas alone. However, those who are open-minded have access to an unlimited number of ideas that help them develop bigger ideas. It is about being wise enough to recognize the richness of manifold ideas. Contrarily, prejudice and bias usually stand in the way of progress, causing a sabotage of opportunities. Those who are unreceptive don’t generally do great things. The best of achievements in our world today resulted from the abundance of great ideas from those whose minds are open.
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One more thing. The difference between those who see opportunities and those who see difficulties is the state of the mind, whether the individual’s mind is receptive or not. Give yourself a chance to do something different or something bigger by doing away with bias, partisanship and prejudice and embracing impartiality, tolerance, and open-mindedness. It is not a problem when those around you are not thinking like you. After all, we are all uniquely different from one another for a reason - so that we can, together, build something that no individual can build.

Actions for the week
1. Think about your approach to issues. Are you open-minded. In what areas can you maintain better open-mindedness?
2. Determine to always be tolerant, unbiased and willing to consider other people’s ideas.
3. Share this message with those in your circle.

I was speaking to one of my most respected long-term friends over the weekend. He said something that got stuck in my head – we can do most of the things we think are over our head. Some things are challenging to learn and to do. However, nothing is too hard to learn and do. There is a secret I discovered many years ago. It is a fact that the people that did great things in history and in our generation today did not know how to do them at first. Most of them only spearhead into the unknown. There is always a first time for anyone to do anything. I have let this understanding guide my thinking about myself over the years. In my mind, there is nothing I decide to do that I am unable to do.

Thinking that something is over one’s head is a big barrier that must be broken down. It has deterred many people from achieving what they have the potential to do. It is the reason the majority settle for less and watch other achievers fulfill their dreams. It takes consciousness, determination, and action to dismantle the notion that something is beyond you. Always remember that humans have done incredible things in this world. You and I also could do spectacular things, using our innate abilities to achieve what we can do. You have more capacity for great things than you think but only those who attempt big things achieve them.
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Here is where I am going with this discourse. Don’t allow anyone, anything, or any circumstance to limit you. Those who are doing greatly around you are not necessarily better than you. If someone else does big things, you too could do bigger things. The fact is that none of us has been able to exploit the limits of our abilities and that is because human abilities cannot be capped. Look around you. Then look inward to the ideas and the dreams that need to be borne from inside of you. Drop the self-doubt. Nothing is over your head. You can learn, do, and achieve whatsoever you would. 

Last summer, I spent many early mornings alone in Winnipeg’s King’s Park. You are probably wondering what I was doing there. I was there meditating, reconditioning my mind and recharging for the next phases of my life. I did that in the serenity and quietness of the early mornings. The only sounds I heard in the park were the chirping of the birds and the rustling of the trees, except when I walked by the water fountain at the centre of the park. The lake was calm and clear such that it became a mirror for the trees and bushes around. You may check the picture of the lake on my LinkedIn profile background. I enjoyed sitting on a small wooden bench by the side of the lake, lost in my own thoughts and ponderings as I imagined beautiful things for the future.

Do you also maintain a moment of quietness, a time when you shut yourself out of everything and everyone so that you can be in a thoughtful state? Maybe you don’t need to go to King’s Park or take a trip to the top of the Sleeping Giant in Ontario’s Thunder Bay. However, you may need to spend some time alone, away from the hustle and bustle of your surroundings, to meditate, think through and chew over the important aspects of life. There is an enormous amount of power in doing so from time to time. Maintaining moments of quietness can help in clear thinking, deep thinking, and constructive thinking. When we put on our thinking cap in a conducive atmosphere, we give power to our minds to help us shape schemes, generate ideas, solve problems, and develop a healthy mental state.
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If you are feeling overwhelmed with activities, bombarded by information from various quarters, struggling with a problem or just seeking more opportunities for success. I suggest that you develop a habit of quiet meditation in a clean, simple, and beautiful atmosphere. You will be surprised how much power is in quietness as you muse over your affairs to develop the ideas that you need to get ahead in every area of your life.

You have probably come across the expression “self-made millionaire”. There are lots of people out there being referred to as “self-made”. Maybe that needs to be put into proper context. Is there really anyone that could have made themself? Well, maybe some people went through so many challenges, figuring things out as they forge their way through the difficulties of life. We salute the courage of those who tried to succeed despite all odds. Similarly, we acknowledge those who had lots of opportunities, surrounded by help from many quarters, and who took advantage of their fortunate situations to make something meaningful out of life. That said, everyone who has made some kind of progress would realize that they had encounters with helpful people along the way.  

No matter how disadvantaged you think you are or how much you think you singlehandedly put in effort toward your success, it will be self-denial to think that no part of your progress could be attributed to the support of others. We have not yet seen a single soldier make a legion or a tree make a forest. Before getting pumped, taking all the credit for your grandeur, take a moment to think about the impact of those whose paths crossed yours as you made progress. Those could be your family, friends, supervisors, colleagues, students, community, or customers. Remember the days when you rode on the synergy you had with others to achieve your purpose. Don’t forget the contributions of those who gave you opportunities, those who spoke for you, those who supported you, those who stood by you and those who believed in you. 
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There may be only a fine line between your self-acclamation and blatant pride. Do not let egotism consume you. Acknowledge those who must be acknowledged. Esteem those who must be esteemed. Remember those who must be remembered. Let those who impacted you feel your gratitude. And if they can’t, let your humility become a new standard of success for the world to emulate. Don’t you ever forget. ​

“No matter how gloomy the cloud may be, there will still be a silver lining”. That’s one of the expressions of wisdom I grew up with. Sometimes we focus on things that are not working well at the expense of those that are. We tend to pay attention to our problems, forgetting all our blessings. It is normal for us to be aware of our pain but easy to disregard moments without pain. That natural tendency reflects in our disposition to life in general. We unconsciously project our challenges and frustrations for others to see, and that sometimes has an overall negative impact. Those who are not happy cannot spread happiness. Those who take pleasure in focusing on their pain alone are unlikely to bring joy to others. It is not about whether we have our own challenges or not, but our disposition that determines our ultimate experience.

One thing we must all realize is that no matter how difficult or problematic situations around us may be, there will always be one thing that we can be grateful for. Instead of expending our energy on shortfalls and inadequacies, we should rather focus our attention on that one thing that brings joy. A joyful heart glows, bringing illumination to the hearts of others around them. Our true experience in life is that which flows from our hearts. When the heart is right, everything will be alright. However, when the heart is filled with bitterness, nothing is alright. Meanwhile, whether the heart is joyful or not is not really about what happened to the person, but about the person’s perspectives and dispositions.
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It does seem like each one of us has a decision to make. Life will throw all sorts of things at us, and some of them may not be positive. The ups and downs are real for everyone as long as we live. Instead of letting life rob us of joy and gladness, we should let goodness flow from our hearts. In that case, our true experience will not depend on what happens or does not happen to us, but on an inner strength that comes from within. Let your heart glow. Be the spreader of joy.

We all have the tendency to keep our eyes on the goal, to focus on the end that we had envisioned. In most cases, we want to arrive at our destination early enough. I have had the opportunity to drive on Canada’s Highway 401 several times. I am one of those drivers that will max out the speed limit. What fascinates me is that I see many, like half of all vehicles on the highway, pass me. Then I wonder at what speed, and where on earth, they are going. Why the rush? What is so important? I realized that it is part of human nature to be in a hurry. We want to arrive quickly. Is that not the same way we handle many areas of life? Do we not want to graduate quickly, get rich quickly, marry quickly, get promoted quickly, succeed quickly, and make everything work quickly?
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The main shortfall of arriving at our destination quickly is that we miss the entire journey. We focus so much on the destination and, as such, we do not enjoy the adventure. However, life is a journey. It is not all about the destination but about how we experience the journey to the destination. Driving at a reckless speed on the highway would mean that you missed the beautiful landscape your car traversed as you progressed on your trip. You missed the sights, the trees, the flowers, the nice cars passing by and, sometimes, even the road signs that should have helped you avoid the police tickets. Instead of rushing through life, we can take time to enjoy every step of the way. Take time to enjoy your work, your family, your spouse, the growing years of your children, the time you spend in college and every aspect of your life.

Here is the reality. Most of us will get to the end of our lives just to realize that the achievements did not matter as much as the experience we had on the way to the achievements. The person you become and the encounters you have on your journey to success are more important than success itself. There is more to life than reaching a goal. The real experience is in the expedition. Don’t arrive without experiencing the journey.

Spring is surely my favorite season. It comes at the end of Winter and, here in Canada, Winter is quite cold and harsh. Spring provides us a break from Winter and ushers in a new opportunity for planting. When I looked outside through my house windows, I could see the grass already turning green. We should expect the rustling of leaves on trees; all forest lives and bushes to thrive again. As wonderful as Spring is, I don’t generally plant anything, although I had in the past. However, I see neighbours and friends care for their planting beds, putting seeds in their dark soil and expecting something to spring to life. It feels good to see plants sprout and grow, to experience the wonderful work of nature in action.

Have you ever thought about what Spring may mean outside of the natural concept? I perceive that many of us have experienced the Winter of life for so long. It is time to experience Spring. For some people, this may be the time to let their ideas spring to life. Have you carried dreams and aspirations for so long, such that you are wondering when is the right time to actualize them? Now is Spring. Get outside of the house, outside of your comfort zone, and get into the garden of life where ideas are planted and nurtured to life. You do not need to watch the weather for too long, calculating the best time to do what you would like to do. There is no perfect time in that sense. All you need to know is that it is Spring, so get out and sow the seed. Rain is surely coming.
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Whatsoever good you must do, go ahead and do it. Give that idea, plan, goal, project, or undertaking a chance. Allow that good relationship, charitable deed, help for others, service to the community and love for others to blossom and thrive. We create life by sowing the seed. We sustain life by caring for the plant. Do not let that seed lie lifeless in your hands. It is good stewardship to sow your seed and nurture the plant. Let it spring to life.

Do you know that a lot of people around you have an opinion about who you should be? It is the reason someone didn’t thank you when you did something good for them. They expected that you should do it, so what do they care about how you feel after doing it? It is also the reason people blamed you when you failed. You are supposed to be perfect. So, why did you fail? In fact, those around you always know what you should do, where you should go, how you should dress, what you should say, the friends you should have, what you should buy and the person you should marry. You are the only one who doesn’t know; others do. A lot of people are under the bondage of somebody in their life who has strong control over them. Note that I used the word “control”. Some people cannot live their own lives without following the dictates of others.
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One thing I learned very early in my life is to be independent. I learn from others, and I hear the opinions of others, but I strive to live based on my convictions and not by someone else’s control or manipulation. Should the outcome of your life not be based on your own convictions and philosophy? Do you have a personal philosophy that you developed based on knowledge, experience, and sound judgement? If you do, then you are not supposed to be carried around by the opinions of others. Opinions are abundant, but reasoning is scarce. The problem with being controlled by others is that those who are controlled do not feel fulfilled. There is no satisfaction in living one’s life just to please others.

It is time to stand up for yourself. It is time to exercise your freedom of thought and choice. After all, only you are responsible for the outcome of your life. No one may be held responsible for how things turn out for you and me. Everyone is responsible for their own decisions. Meanwhile, there is much wisdom in the counsel of those who are wise. You may ask for directions but ensure that you chart your own course. Don’t give control of your life to any human being. Live life thoughtfully and deliberately, taking personal responsibility every step of the way.

Have you met anyone who prefers to go solo, refusing any assignment that requires them to manage people and resources? There are those who would like to just be individual contributors at work or in the community. They may work with others but do not want to have responsibilities toward managing anyone. If you force management responsibilities on them, they may not do well because of attitude, not because of competence. Some people have their minds set that way, and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with that. The only implication is that such people may not wake up the leadership giant in themselves.

Don’t get me wrong. Leadership is not about bossing people around, but about inspiring others to be their best. And when you do, people will look up to you. In fact, they may want to be on your team. They may seek your tutelage, mentorship, direction, or management. In that case, the least you can do is to provide the leadership that people desire in you. Going solo may produce a lot of results, but inspiring others and providing direct input to their endeavours will produce manifold results. Most of the big things that have happened in our world were results of concerted effort of individuals who have come together under effective leadership and management of resources. Even when you think of individuals who have seemingly made landmarks on their own, you must realize that they usually have people working with or for them behind the scenes.
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While it is not wrong to be a lone star performer, it is more beneficial to spread one’s influence on others, providing direction, inspiration, and support as they also grow into their success. If you are a talented person, or you are gifted in an area, you can expand the impact of your work and life by helping others to succeed. Don’t say, “I don’t want to manage anybody.” Instead ask, “how can I have a better impact on the world by growing other people?”

One of my favorite movies is the 2006 drama film “Pursuit of Happyness” which starred Will Smith as Chris Gardner. The movie reminds me that we are all in the pursuit of happiness. That’s why you will always hear people say, “I just want to be happy”. However, how many people are truly happy? Or, maybe I should ask, “are you happy?”.  Well, most people are momentarily happy when something good happens to them. It may be the purchase of a new car, a promotion at work, a new child added to the family, getting married or even drinking through the happy hours of the weekend. One of the downsides of the happiness gained through things and events is that it is always short-lived. Anyone may drink wine and be happy but will return to their unhappy states as soon as the effect of the wine is gone.  

The truth is that no one can drink themselves into lasting happiness, neither can anyone dance away their sorrow. If you need to have lots of money to be happy, then you will need to keep getting big sums every day, with the daily amount increasing with time, for the rest of your life. Even with that, you will not find lasting peace and happiness. Some people also think that other people can make them happy. If I can only get married, or have nice friends, I will be so happy. Well, maybe for a while. One thing I have discovered is that happy people are usually happy all by themselves. If you must have a particular person in your life to maintain your happiness, then you may be preparing for the biggest disappointment in life. It is improbable that someone will constantly keep you happy forever. Similarly, if you cannot be happy when you have little, it is unlikely that you will be happy when you have much.
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You may wonder where I am going with this. Well, true happiness is one which does not depend on external factors. You may call it joy if you so desire. True happiness is a product of contentment. You and I need to take pleasure in who we are and what we have now and not worry about what and who we do not have. I have observed that most people are unhappy, keeping themselves in misery and gloom, just because of what they do not have or who they do not have in their life. Here is the truth, you cannot hold anyone or anything responsible for your happiness in life. Be grateful for your current state as you hope for better things.

There are a few reasons people may sing your praise. Among them are high achievements, fame, stardom, and being in a position of authority. Because everything is ephemeral, we must remember that, as soon as the reason for praise is gone, the praise also ceases. That reminds me of the proverbial clay pot analogy. The clay pot was very good at what he did, and everyone liked him. In fact, an elephant died, and the clay pot took it in - all its meat, and people enjoyed eating from it. The buffalo died and he did the same. However, when the clay pot died, nobody wanted him again. That is mostly the case, and each one of us must prepare for the possibility of losing power or getting off the stage of stardom. Yes, I mean many past famous and powerful people are still alive and well but are no longer reckoned with as in their days of glory.

Someone may quickly think, “what about doing an excellent job, such that the glory never goes away?” Well, the fact is that it is not about you in the first place but about the thing you have that makes people sing your praise. Your true identity is who you are outside of fame and power. After you are gone, people may not remember how powerful you were but will surely remember who you were. Instead of letting the praise of people get into our heads, we should focus on our mission, the reason that brought fame and authority in the first place. I think so strongly that it is all about humility; being humble in our hearts first, and then showing humility in our actions.
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Here is the main message. We should not allow anyone to pull us down because of pride or arrogance. It is prideful to think and accept that people are praising us just because we are so good. That is not exactly the case, people are praising you and flocking around you because you are famous, rich, and powerful. If you think this message is only theoretical, you may just wait and see what happens once you have none of those things anymore. You will see how most people will desert you except those few that truly love you, and that, if you do have those who do. When the whole world sings your praise, stay humble all the way, focusing on your mission and the good works, which history will always remember.

I remember a wonderful afternoon a couple of years ago, when I decided to visit my friend a few miles away by bicycle. I rode there in about 10 minutes, and I was excited to see myself ride so fast, just like a pro. However, I spent triple the time on my way back. You may wonder why. It was such a windy day. I didn’t realize that I was carried by the wind when I was on the first leg of my ride, but on the way back, I rode directly against the wind. I can tell you, riding against the wind is a laborious and energy-consuming task. In fact, it felt like a waste of effort. When you ride against the wind, you get only minimal results from expending an enormous amount of energy.

Isn’t that what most of us do? I see many people expend their limited energy in a direction that does not favour success. They keep working hard without much to show for their significant effort. Meanwhile, doesn’t life work that way? Don’t we all have to ride against the wind? Any time we do things repeatedly without seeing results, we need to ask ourselves if we are riding against the wind. Challenges and difficulties may be likened to the wind, but it isn’t all unpleasant situations or challenges that are bad. They either hinder us from moving forward or aid us in climbing higher. It all depends on each person’s disposition to them. Some will take advantage of seemingly difficult situations to forge ahead while others will continue to wallow in the despondency of their problems. So, you may ask, “how do we take advantage of the wind?”
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Did you know that, for an airplane to take off from the ground, you need to raise the angle between the axis of the plane and the horizon of the earth? That angle is called the “attitude”. As an airplane moves at a high speed and raises its attitude to fly, so do we also need to raise our attitude to fly even in the gusty wind of life. Instead of keeping your head down in challenges and difficulties, you can maintain an attitude that helps you rise above the storms. When you ride against the wind, raise your attitude, and see the possibilities in the impossibilities. 

You have probably heard the saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. I have always known that equal opportunities do not translate to equal outcomes. If you give two people the same opportunities, life has taught us that one will eventually turn out better than the other. It is just a matter of time. I also know that having a better head-start in life is a great thing, but it does not always mean that the one who started better will necessarily end better. I observed a common attribute of those who do very well for themselves. This attribute is always present irrespective of their level of education, family antecedent, previous or present opportunities or even whether they are currently successful or not. It is a fact that those who get ahead usually know what an average person does not know and do what an average person does not do.

As simple as it sounds, one of the key components of success in life is the ability to know what you need to know when you need to know it. Many people live in ignorance, and we know that ignorance is not a virtue. Let me tell you a secret; a secret that I discovered and have consistently applied in my own life. What you need to become a successful person is not as big as you think. If you can understand this secret, it will transform everything you do and you will have the ability to take charge of your success. Having knowledge is not enough. What you need to get everything else is to know slightly more and do slightly more than the average person in your area of endeavour. The key is being above average, having something beyond the regular.
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In my book, “Pursuit of Personal Leadership”, I mentioned that you do not need the genius of Albert Einstein or the artistry of Beethoven to get ahead in life. What you need is a little more than the average person. It is a push beyond what everyone else is doing. In fact, having better information than the majority will start you off. Then doing a little extra will take you far. It is the little extra that makes you extraordinary. I have seen people who do not appear talented or sophisticated lead and succeed in big undertakings. It is about standing out from the crowd to become outstanding.

Most achievers eventually get to their dream land. You may visualize the dream land as a state of fulfilment, a significant level of success or the pinnacle of a career. We reach higher levels of achievement at different stages of life. Some arrive early while others are late for the game. Whatever is the case, I perceive that it feels good to get to the most rewarding part of one’s endeavour. How did I know that? When people begin to experience significant success, command tremendous respect, or enjoy the accolades and praise of others, they usually don’t want it to end. That is when people have the tendency to become selfish, conceited, and insensitive. Most especially, when people possess power, they usually want to hold on to it, not letting it go.

Why do you think politicians continue to seek reelection and corporate executives fight to retain their positions? What is it about people not wanting to pass on the baton to anyone, continuing to sit tight in the driver’s seat? We need to remember that nothing lasts forever. Whether it is a good season or a bad one, time is transient. When we get into positions that matter, we can groom others to continue the work after us. The reason many people’s legacies and work vanish and are forever forgotten is because they held on for too long. They missed their chance to pass on the baton because of selfishness and greed.  
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Here is the point. You do not need to hold onto your current position, opportunity, or authority for too long. This world is sometimes like a board game where one person occupies the space left by another. Some will create space, while others will occupy the space. If you can create new spaces, go ahead, and allow others to step in the shoes you are leaving behind. You can blaze the trail while others trail the blaze. However, most people can only drive the car so far. You don’t need to do it until you run out of ideas and energy, or until you become irrelevant. Let another person take the steering wheel, allowing them to build on your legacy. 

Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books
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I hear a lot of people say, “oh that was not my intention” or “I didn’t mean to do that”. Sometimes when we hurt those close to us or we do something wrong, it is easy for us to explain what our intention was not. It is the best excuse for committing blunders. Afterall, the other person cannot see through our minds. They will have to believe us and take our word for it. Unfortunately, we are not judged by people based on our intentions or the state of our minds – only God can do that. When people relate with us, they only hear our words and see our actions. No one knows what you are thinking. They only see what you do. In that case, what you do and what you say are more important to people than what you think. In fact, how would you prove that what you do is not what you think?

Let us face the fact. We do what we think, and we say what we think. The content of our actions and the outputs of our lives reflect our thoughts and intentions. How can someone rob a bank and say that they didn’t mean to? Most of the things we do ensue from our premeditations and thoughts, whether we admit it or not. Nothing just happens, and nobody just does anything. When we err, instead of saying that we didn’t mean to, we can just admit the error and make necessary adjustments, whatever that means. Anyone that would change their actions and words must first change what is on the inside. We are products of our thoughts. Our intentions need to be right for our actions to be right. Yes, we make mistakes, but we can learn from them and become better at thinking better.
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Here is the truth. Our good intentions are not good enough until we show them through good actions. The only thing that others see are the outputs – what we produce. What we produce depends on what we possess inside of us. As you journey on in life, remember that we will take no notice of your good intentions, but we will always relate to your good actions; your good deeds and good words that left a good warmth in us.

There are different levels of authority in this world. Some individuals are so powerful that they command either fear or respect with a very large number of people. Some of these people are royalties, holders of positions of power in nations, owners of business empires, or even your boss at work. Authorities have boundaries and levels, and people use or misuse power as they deem fit. I have spent my entire life wondering what the real use or the necessity of power is. What I have seen in the world is the use of power in a way that makes people become fearful, resentful, rebellious or disoriented. The question is, “do we really need to use power?”. The truth is that most people are reduced to absolutely nothing if you take away the power or the authority given to them.

I want you to think carefully about this. Would those you work with, your family, your friends or community continue to follow your lead even if you are stripped of all the positional, political or economic power you currently possess? Should you and I not check whether people are following our leadership and influence rather than our authority and power? If you need to use your position or power to get things moving with the people around you, then something is fundamentally wrong somewhere. Real leaders do not need positions or titles. People follow real leaders because of their influence and not because of their power. Leadership thrives where power fails.
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So, how do you use power? Well, maybe power is not meant to be used but to be shared. The purpose of power is to empower other people. Power gets misused when it is in the wrong hands. There is an old saying that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That is true for those who usurp power unto themselves, believing that they are the only ones that have power and thereby disregard those who do not have power. Nevertheless, we all know that powers can shift base and tables can turn. All power and authority are transient. When you possess power, think about empowering others so they too can maximize their own lives. Do not use power over anyone. Do not lord anything over anyone. Remember that when power is gone, you will be left with your character, influence and the relationships you built or did not build. 

We all have opportunities to construct our personality. The image we project to others is what we made it to be. When I hear people complain that others just don’t like them, I wonder if that is just an alibi for a lack of personal effort to become a person that others desire to be with. How can everyone at your place of work or your community dislike you. Unless it is a conspiracy or an uninformed group effort to loathe someone, it is unlikely that everyone around you will hold you in disfavour all the time. Most of us have some work to do about how we allow others to perceive us. It is true that we do not have control over what others think about us, but we have control over how we present ourselves and the personality that we exude.

Have you ever seen anyone who is unfriendly but has lots of friends? Maybe not. People are attracted to those who are friendly. Like begets like. Affectionate people have lots of friendly people surrounding them. If you want to have friends, just become friendly. You cannot wear a face like that of the tiger, speak like you don’t care, and act like a totalitarian, and then expect good people to flock around you. We must break the walls and step down from our mountains to become attractive to good people. The way we talk, act, and relate with others must show that we care about them. The people we work with are more important than the work itself. Are you good to your colleagues, family, and those around you. When people are looking for who to be with, will they choose you?
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Meanwhile, it is not enough to just look good to others, we must also learn to do good to others. Good deeds have a lot of friends. When people know that you have something to offer, something to give to make their lives better, they will come around. Some for the goodies while others for the friendship. Someone may say, “what if they don’t appreciate my good deeds?” That’s alright. When you do good for the sake of doing good, you are fine. What matters is the good will, the love, and the positive energy that you bring to others. In fact, if you are looking for happiness, you’d better do good for others. It is the secret of fulfilment and satisfaction. 

You probably know that our lives are a series of stories joined together in time. Your life tells stories that are unique to you. Your biography and my biography will not be the same. That is because you are unique, and I am also different. Each person’s journey is different no matter what. Meanwhile, as unique as each person's journey is, some people will be remembered for a long time while memories about others will quickly disappear. Think about it this way. Some people in this world have left memories in the hearts of others that can hardly be forgotten. However, the majority simply pass though the world without any trace of impact or anything to remember about them after they are gone.
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In my book Pursuit of Personal Leadership, I elaborated that we all can deliberately introduce what will become our legacies into our everyday lives. I provided many examples that we can learn from. Using our lives to write an unforgettable story is quite simple. If there is anything you would like to be remembered for, just go ahead and work toward making it happen. One way not to be forgotten is to do something that is not focused on self and has values that last longer. I may not know what that means for you, but I know that each one of us can make lasting impacts. Just think about the stories of those who have spent their entire lives serving humanity. Your story may not be as spectacular as that of Mother Teresa, but you can surely support a cause, contribute to a legacy, serve others, or establish a new thing that will outlast you.

Those who live self-centered lives are quickly forgotten. Those who touch the lives of others are remembered because they write stories in the hearts of others. Nevertheless, our stories should be remembered for good and not for evil. When you write your story, write the one that brings happiness, goodwill, and good news to others. If you will not be quickly forgotten, then write a story that lasts. Leave a legacy. 

Certain decisions are not easy to make. Choosing between eating a hamburger or a bowl of pasta for dinner may not have any serious consequence. You can toss a coin to decide which one you will eat. However, we tend to find it challenging when we are faced with various options for deciding on a matter that has either a long-term impact or can cause a big change within a short time. In most cases, we end up with those epoch-making two options. It is either we go left or right, or we decide on black or white. It is usual for us to get torn between two significant options, whose consequences would not be clearly known until we decide. We often find ourselves in a dilemma. That is when we blow hot and cold; when we dilly-dally, hesitate, and become indecisive.

Meanwhile, our indecision does not solve a problem. Whether we know the consequence of our decisions up-front or not, we still need to keep moving. One thing I discovered a long time ago is that most people find decision-making daunting because they have not predetermined what they would decide before the situation arises. The way to learn to make decisions is to make decisions often. It is okay to make mistakes, especially when the gravity of the decision is not significant. We should not be afraid of making decisions. Decision-making can become an art, where the act of practicing helps us to hone our skills. Those who blow hot and cold do not learn anything. They will always doubt their own decisions. When we make mistakes, we learn and grow, and then develop principles that help us decide better next time.
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As simple as it sounds, you would agree that making sound decisions may not be so simple. Yet, our lives are made up of a series of decisions. We are products decisions, whether made by us or not. The decisions we make and those made by others affect us. Therefore, we need to master the art of making decisions. Let’s get in the habit of being decisive. Stop oscillating like a pendulum. Why blow hot and cold?