Every one of us has been given “life” generally at roughly the same order of magnitude. If you live long, maybe you will clock 100 years. Think about it. That is not really a very long time. The time of life is not as extensive as we think. Therefore, it is important to spend our time here doing what matters. Meanwhile, we tend to define what matters in different ways. Some believe that what matters the most is “family”. Others devote their lives to serving their communities. Yet others spend their lifetime innovating, designing, and building things and products for the future. I have also seen those who believe in developing other people and pouring their lives into future leaders.

Whichever is your view, you are right. All those pursuits are worthwhile. In fact, we probably have a long list of worthwhile causes. But there is just one thing that truly matters. When you and I get to the end of our lives and we look back, that only one thing will matter. The money we owned, our fleets of exotic vehicles, the positions of authority we held, the power we possessed, our houses and lands, and our silver and gold will not matter. The only thing that will matter is “Did I do my best?” Doing our very best to live for truth, to impact others positively, to build people, and to leave a positive memory in the hearts of people – that’s what matters. It is all about the lives you touched; the people whose lives became better because of you.
​
In all our endeavours, we must remember that there is just one thing that matters. The difference between those who enjoy fulfilment at the end of their lives and those who experience regrets is what they lived for. This message is a charge to each one of us to focus on what really matters – to focus on doing our best to leave positive memories in the minds and hearts of people. That is the only thing that matters.

Our societies are built such that we are expected to think and behave in a certain way. We are somewhat conditioned to accept the opinions of others as important to our undertakings. And there are lots of those opinions. In fact, in our world today, if you do not fit in the mold, you are either ignored or belittled. It seems like you need other people’s permission to succeed. If you have a dream or ambition, and people get to know about it, they may tell you 1001 ways things won’t work. Unfortunately, many people have fallen into the trap, thinking that the opinions of the majority matter to their own conceived ideas. It is the reason a lot of dreams are aborted; why many visions are abandoned.

While it is true that we need to work with others to achieve something significant, every individual is still responsible for the fulfilment of their dreams. When your big dream or lofty aspiration does not make sense to those whose minds are myopic, do not let them talk you out of it. Most of the groundbreaking achievements in our world did not make sense at first, but someone decided to spearhead the unknown to do what others think impossible. After all, Napoleon Bonaparte told us that impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
​
Here is the key. You do not need to explain your dream, vision, ambition, or aspiration for the whole world to accept. If it is big enough or seems incredible, they will reject it. Nevertheless, the dream is yours and not theirs, and only you are accountable for fulfilling that for which you are here in this world. If you truly believe in what you are doing, then you owe nobody an apology. Those who believe with you will gravitate toward you and become part of your journey, while scoffers will continue to grapple with reality. 

I do not want to underestimate what many people are experiencing. We all have our share of challenges related to work, home, and other areas of life. If you own a business, you probably have real business challenges that keep you alert. If you are working in a team or whatever your workplace looks like, there are usually problems you face. Sometimes we even personally face failures, setbacks, rejection, roadblocks, hurdles, and similar seemingly negative situations. However, we also have moments of success, fulfilment and laughter and the sense of enjoyment that comes with positive things. Our days go in successions of brightness and darkness. Life is like a sandwich with meat, vegetables and bread all layered together. If you are on a rollercoaster, there will be high points and low points. When one person is at the hill crest, another person may be crestfallen. Life goes in cycles.

Meanwhile, those who continue to experience success and fulfilment have one thing in common. They expect better things out of life than the bad things; they focus on the brighter side. If you and I are to live a fulfilling life, we must understand that success is fabricated from several raw materials, and that the challenges we face in life are part of the equation. When we overcome challenges, we learn and become stronger. We must focus on the positive things and draw strength from our desire to reach our goals. No one told you the road will be easy. It has not been an easy road for those before us, but it is a worthwhile journey.
​
Let us do what achievers do. They look at the brighter side of things. They have expectations of good things. They believe passionately that they will achieve their goals and become successful. In most cases, achievers inspire other people along the way. Do not allow your challenges to get you inundated. Always look at the brighter side and you will be on top of your circumstances. You are blessed. You are loaded with talents. You can do whatever you believe you can do.

​Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books

I have met a lot of talented people in my journey through life. These people possess greater abilities compared to the vast majority. You probably know them too. They are at the very top of their cadre. They show superior competence, skills, and abilities. Some are talented in the arts, others in fields of science, and yet others in business. Humans have displayed exceptionalism across various fields of endeavour throughout history and today. However, the best that anyone that has a genius can produce is still very limited. It is limited to the ability of the individual.

Someone may achieve something reasonably good by working solo, but they cannot achieve something great and magnificent singlehandedly. That is why it took a team of talented people to put the first human on Mount Everest. It is the reason it took an entire crew of astronauts, scientists, engineers, program managers and governments to put the first person on the moon. I have always seen people struggle through life because they work solo. Many people are unable to go beyond a spot because they think they can achieve greatness alone. They have forgotten that most of the greatest things we have ever seen were achieved through the collective effort of those who have determined to do what no individual can do.
​
Each time I am attempting something significant, I ask myself who my team members are. I tend to think I am talented, but I know that there are many other talented people who can boost my effort. The power of synergy cannot be underestimated. Here is the key. Stop struggling. Think about who and who else you can work with to achieve things that are bigger than what you alone can do. Well, you may need to share the praise, accolades, benefits, and the outcomes with others, but is that not the whole essence of life? Are we not here to make impacts, put smiles on other people’s faces, become fulfilled and make the world a better place for all. In whatsoever you are doing, always exploit the wonder of collective capacity for the greater good for all.

We sometimes think that our future is ahead of us. The concept of the future being yet to happen makes us think that we need to start chasing after something, so we can have a great future. Some chase after money and possessions, others after fame and recognition, and yet others after pleasure and enjoyment. Unfortunately, none of the things we chase after provides us with a fulfilling future, and we know exactly why. Nature has taught us many lessons. The things we need to know and do to live a successful and fulfilling life have been exemplified by nature. The challenge is that most of us do not learn from nature. We try to reinvent what has already been done. We try to make up our own unproven methods, whereas all we need to do is to study what already is.

Let us look at what nature teaches us about the future. If I ask you what the future of an apple seed is, you may tell me it is to become a tree. The tree is trapped inside the apple seed. The destiny of an eaglet is to become an eagle and soar above the mountains. The eagle is trapped inside the eaglet. We understand that our universe is ever-expanding with new stars continuously being born. New stars are trapped in the galaxies. Why do we think that we humans are any different? Is our future not trapped within the inside of us?
​
Everything that anyone will become in the future has already been trapped inside of the individual. The majority keep looking outside of themselves for what they need to succeed without realizing that it has been inside them all along. This is a call for us to start looking more inwardly rather than outwardly. Inside each one of us is an enormous number of talents and natural abilities. If you do not focus your attention on using the gifts and abilities inside of you to create your own future, you will always feel unfulfilled and insecure. Humans are the only entities that try to become who they are not. Fish don’t try to fly. Buffalos don’t hunt lions. You do not need to look away from your intrinsic abilities. Your future is not ahead of you, so stop chasing after it. Look inward instead and create your own future.

I have observed the same thing repeatedly. What it takes to stand out in the crowd is not as daunting as many of us think. We usually assume that those who would rise above others necessarily need to do something incredibly brilliant. We tend to complicate the meaning of the word “extraordinary” as if it means something out of this world. Yet, that word simply means “remarkable” or “unusual”. Meanwhile, before we can do something unusual, we must first know what is usual. All you need to do is to look around you. What you see everybody does daily is the “usual”, the commonplace pursuit that keeps everyone busy, but does not result in anything remarkable.

The whole world is full of “average” – average thinking, average results, and average lives. However, I found that living the average life, which the vast majority do, is only a matter of choice. What it takes to stand out is for you to just do something above average, to put something extra on what is already ordinary. In my own life, I usually study to see what an average individual does. I will try to define what is usual and ordinary. Then I’ll go ahead to do more than that. I stretch myself beyond the average. I push the boundaries and raise the bar for myself.
​
The result of doing above average is an outstanding outcome. Most of the people we praise as outstanding are those who dared to put an extra on their ordinary. You do not need to be the most naturally talented in your area of niche to become outstanding. You only need to start doing above average, pushing your boundaries, and becoming a better version of yourself daily. Decide to stand out in the crowd by putting an extra effort into your endeavour. That may mean extra time for thinking, planning, setting goals, working, learning, practicing, or expending energy. Whatever you do, become extraordinary.

Anytime we talk about leadership, the picture that is easy for us to see is someone who calls the shot, directs everyone, or makes decisions. We usually visualize the leader as the one in the front; the one who visibly makes others do the work. However, leadership is much more than providing direction or even influencing others. A real leader does not only influence, but also provides support while allowing others to express their own leadership. After all, the hallmark of leadership is the building of other leaders. What kind of a leader are you? Are you the lone star that performs for the whole world to see or you are the source of illumination and support for others?

Leading from behind means empowering others to innovate, make decisions and take initiative. The reason many people have reached a plateau in their leadership, with their ability capped, is that they are always holding the steering wheel, not allowing anyone else to drive. Every leader can only do so much, no matter how skilled or talented we are. The way to multiply our effort is to build other leaders and empower them to do what we would not have done singlehandedly. Those who understand this principle focus on becoming leaders of leaders. They lead from behind, providing coaching, support, and empowerment for others.
​
Do you always or sometimes find yourself not being able to let go and let others take the lead? Are you sometimes worried that someone else may not do the job as well as you would? Well, think about the impact that you alone can make, and then think about the impact that five other leaders can make when combined. Anyone that would not let go, build others, and let them help, will eventually get worn out. They will experience the “law of diminishing returns”. The way to maintain a vibrant, growing, and effective leadership is to reproduce greater leaders in others and empower them to express their leadership. Start leading from behind.

One thing I don’t ever forget is to respect, admire, value and praise those who work with me. How about you? Think about a time in the past when you did something, whether big or small, and someone intentionally gave you kudos for doing it. How did it make you feel? Did you feel like doing it over again, and even much better? People take notice when they are honoured. They feel encouraged to do more. Respecting and honouring those who contribute their effort builds a sense of accomplishment in them. It reinforces their personal beliefs in themselves. It lifts the psyche.

Not esteeming someone or honoring them for an accomplishment, a significant contribution or a completed milestone is not so different from disparaging them. Watch out! If your staff, team members, children, or those you lead do something for you or around you, and you downplay their effort, you may lose the respect they have for you. People typically respond to affirmations, accolades, awards, praise, thank-you notes, etc., in a positive, encouraging manner. The people you value are more likely to stay with you. Those you respect will respect you back, as respect begets respect.
​
We must give honour to whom it is due. Who are the people working for you (or with you)? Look around you. Think about how beautiful our workplaces, families, communities, and society will be if we all value, respect and honour one another. Imagine a world where people are appreciated for who they are, the good they have done and what they can do. Envision a workplace, a team, a family, or an organization where people are truthful about the contributions of others and recognize them for their effort. It is time for us to start holding those around us in high esteem, acknowledging them for whatsoever they are doing or can do for the good of society.

I have observed that most of us have reasons not to shift base, try a new thing, or start a new adventure. Although some of us may have a small room for change, we typically don’t like any big disturbance, especially when we are somewhat successful. It seems like we all settle into some kind of social and economic situation, and we stop thinking of any big shift. We settle into a particular space, calling it stability. Everyone looks forward to the so-called stability, which, in most cases, is just a place of complacency.

Most of us do much less than we can do. We settle into situations that are inferior to our potential abilities. We start with lots of ambitions and drive, but once we reach a certain level of attainment, we create a plateau for ourselves. My interactions with lots of people in my circle reveal that there is still much more that we yearn for. Many of us have so much more to give, and lots of talents to use, but we are unwilling to do what it takes. We have settled down and won’t like to disrupt the flow or perturb the system. That is why lots of people will reach the end of life without releasing their potential; without fulfilling purpose.
​
My message this week is to challenge someone out there to go where their talent takes them. Is that you? Do you think you have much more to give? Do you think you are not maximizing your potential? Do you think you are limited by your environment? Have you settled into circumstances that make it difficult for you to keep moving forward? Everyone has an assignment here on earth. Your gifts and talents are pointers to your purpose and your assignment. Do not allow the comfort of the moment to rob the world of your valuable contributions to humanity and deter you from finding your personal fulfilment in life. If you need to make a change to complete your assignment, do so. Go wherever your talent takes you.

I can tell you without any doubt that one of the enemies of innovative thinking is experience. Don’t get me wrong. Experience is very good. Sometimes we put people in certain roles because of their experience. Organizations will not typically risk putting a rookie in some sensitive and delicate roles because they lack the experience. However, experience tends to get in the way of creativity and innovation. This is because we get so used to the normal way of getting things done, such that we do not think outside the box. Anytime you hear a well-experienced and professionally respected person say, “that won’t work”, know that they are talking from experience and not from creative or innovative thinking.

When you were a little child, you believed many things were possible. You probably believed your dad could buy you a small hot air balloon that would take you to the moon. You believed that because you were not familiar with the facts of life and the experience that would make you think otherwise. Here is the problem. As we grow up and gather experience, we lose our imaginative ability, the mindset of believing that everything is possible. I discussed that extensively in my book “Pursuit of Personal Leadership”. Unless someone continues to develop their imaginative ability and engage constantly in creative thinking, they will let their experience get in the way. That is why you find a lot of people in corporate places without the ability to think for change and channel an innovative course for the future. They tell you, “That doesn’t work”.
​
One of my philosophies is that you shouldn’t say something will not work until you have tried it and tried it in different ways. People say something is impossible because of parochialism. We need to get our mindset tuned to exploring possibilities, even when we know too much about the process. In your personal and professional life, stop saying and believing that “it won’t work”. Start accepting that incredible things are possible.

We face different situations in life. Some are pleasant while others are not. Sometimes the road on which we travel may be smooth while at other times we travel through rough patches. One of the situations that have become most-damaging to people is experiencing rejection, rubbishing, or reproach. This is simply because of the effect on one’s psyche. Anything that affects one’s mental health is a serious matter. No one enjoys being vilified and criticized. I am not talking about the soft, positive criticism. I am referring to damaging acts from others that want to just make us feel bad, disapproved, or unworthy. I wonder why anyone would like to do that anyway.

Meanwhile, there is no guarantee that you and I will not experience this negative criticism or disparage. Since some people have determined that it is their job to make others feel bad, then we need to find the right countermeasure to this unacceptable act. Unfortunately, it may not also be within our capacity to control or correct anyone. Therefore, our defense mechanism will include becoming thick-skinned, an attitude of those who are not bothered by the negativity and rejection from others. We must become stronger versions of ourselves and develop a stable mental attitude in the face of circumstances that will normally lead to negative emotions. Sometimes we may even need to just remove ourselves from the negative environment.
​
Don’t let anyone or anything pull you down or get under your skin. Determine to believe in yourself, your own self-worth and sense of value. After all, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Decide that you will keep standing despite the opinions of others about you. No one has the power to control your thought unless you allow them. Become thick-skinned, unperturbed no matter what.

What came to your mind when you first saw the title of this message? I also wonder. Let us be truthful. The extreme of being realistic is actually a form of pessimism. What do I mean by that? Think about it this way: how many times have you heard people say, “I am just being realistic,” while what they mean is “I don’t believe it is possible”? If you have a very high and steep mountain in front of you, it will be a realistic thing to say that you cannot climb the mountain. That is what most of us do. We magnify our challenges in the name of facing reality and then we wonder why we are not achieving much or changing anything. We give power to our problems and then complain that the problem is not going away.

While the facts of life cannot be denied – positive and negative things happen, we simply cannot focus on the facts alone without exercising our authority to change things and improve our situations. Whatever you call things is what they will be and remain. Whatever you believe as your fact and reality will become and remain your experience. This is not a superstitious stuff. When you hear someone say there is nothing more they can do, just know that they have stopped thinking. There is always something more that anyone can do. You cannot afford to let your current situation, facts of life, and challenges define your future. In the face of the facts, you must be ready to believe that something better and greater can happen.
​
Here is how it works. The moment you convince yourself that things can be different despite your current situation, experience, or problem – the facts, your mind will start seeing possible solutions. You will see how things can change and what you can do to change them. Stop being realistic and start saying and acting the way you want things to go.

The reason some people advise against having expectations is to avoid disappointments. Well, I will rather learn to manage disappointments while maintaining a great expectation in my heart. Don’t let anyone talk you out of having expectations. Why would anyone go through life without expecting great things to happen. Here is why you must have great expectations. Expecting something big reflects the condition of your mind. Those whose minds are full of positive thoughts, whose mental faculties are dominated by success, are the ones that have great expectations.

Many of us throw away our confidence and avoid thinking about the dreams we once had because of disappointments. I get it. However, without nurturing our dreams and believing them, we would not learn to take the necessary actions toward fulfilling them. Do not let anyone or anything pull you back. You are closer to actualizing your dreams than you think. Every day presents a new opportunity to shape our dreams, act in faith and take steps forward. If you do not believe in, and nurture, your own dreams, no one else will do it for you. You must expect that your dreams will come true. You can demonstrate that by taking positive actions towards your dreams because you believe in them.

It's time to take care of, and protect, your dreams, ambitions, or aspirations. It is time to nurture those dreams to grow into something meaningful. What dream are you nurturing? What have you envisioned for yourself? Where do you see yourself next? What edifice are you constructing in your mind? You will need to continue to think about them, nurture them expectantly, until they sink into your subconscious mind (your heart). Then you will see positive circumstances aligning with your actions and vice versa, until your dreams become actualized.

We sometimes don’t appreciate the value of the people around us until we do not have them again. As humankind, we are naturally inclined to needing relationships. Did I hear someone ask if they necessarily need anyone at all? Well, you may need to wait until you do. Everyone needs a hand to hold. That does not mean that you cannot be happy by yourself, but it means that you can share happiness with others. You can rub your life on others and let them also rub theirs on you.

Those who surround themselves with great, kind, compassionate, and positive thinking people have created an environment for themselves that is conducive for success, health, and other good things of life. Meanwhile, forming great relationships or connecting with great people is not by happenstance. Everyone one of us would attract the kind of persons that we are. Anyone who needs a friend must themselves be friendly. It starts with us working on ourselves to be the great persons toward whom others can gravitate. After all, a great relationship is not all about finding the right person but about being the right person. Before you start looking for all the right people out there, ask yourself if you are the right person for someone else.

Anyone that wants to get surround with great people must put in the work. Like begets like. You have probably heard that the outcomes that you produce in your life would most likely be an average of the outcomes of the lives of five persons closest to you. Who are the people closest to you? Do you want the same outcomes you see in their lives? It is time for each one of us to become deliberate on our choices of association, but it starts with us first – with us becoming better versions of ourselves. When we become better, great people will drift toward our side. That’s how to surround yourself with the best people.

We encounter many different situations in life. Some are easy while others are difficult. When things are easy, we feel normal about everything. There is no pressure in a time of ease. We feel like we are in charge. However, when things become difficult or challenging, we feel like we have lost control. We lose our grips, and we get disturbed at times. As it turns out, life is a succession of ups and downs. It is like going on a rollercoaster. As you reach the crests so do you plummet to the base. In difficult times do we not feel crestfallen? So, what should we do when times are rough?

Anyone who just sits, who entertains their negative feelings and wallows in their despondency during a difficult time will not change anything. Burying one’s head under the waves will not lead to swimming to shore. Sometimes we just need to brave the situation, become determined to overcome and get up on our feet when things are difficult. It sounds so easy, right? It may not be as easy as it sounds but we must face the fact – there are no other options. It is either we overcome, or we become inundated by the challenges. We must be ready to take the bull by the horns.
​
In what situation are you now? Are you ready to confront your situations? In everyone’s journey to success, there will be challenges on the way, but we must be ready to confront and overcome them. In most cases, we must do what we must do. Sometimes we need to sacrifice much in order to gain much. At other times we need to take risks, and endure something unpleasant. Whatever is the case, we be determined to rise above the challenges. Be ready to take the bull by the horns.

Do you think that you have the moral power to decide other people’s cases? No, you don’t. But that is what most of us attempt to do on daily basis. We are sometimes hasty in concluding who people are, their intentions, their motives and their dispositions. We size people up, put them on our own personal scales and determine their abilities, skills and potentials. We measure people using our own yardsticks and then decide who they are, in our own minds. This attitude has been the basis of our relationships with other people – we conclude too soon. We become the judge of other people’s character, the character we ourselves cannot even measure up to. What a hypocrisy!

Meanwhile, our real assignment is to become an advocate – a person who supports, defends and promotes the interests of others. We are to stand in the gap for the people around us and become the voice for those who do not have voices. If all of us are judges, then who will plead the course of another? We don’t need judges as much as we need advocates. Imagine what the whole world would look like if we all advocate for one another. Imagine that other people are supporting and arguing your cause as you do the same for others.
​
This week, I challenge you to be the advocate. There are people who need you to support them, hold their hands, plead on their behalf, speak for them, fight for them, and become a bridge for them. One’s fulfilment in life comes, not from deciding other people’s cases, but through the positive impact we make on other people. The reason some people are unhappy and unfulfilled is because they took the wrong job – a judge, instead of an advocate. Let us all resign from being the judge and accept our new roles as advocates for others.

People eventually produce what once existed in their thoughts, especially in the subconscious of their minds. People become actors in the movies once written and played in their minds.

We may say that our thoughts create our world. Everything you see today was once in someone’s thought, whether good or bad. All creations were once imaginations in the inventive minds of people. That includes both tangible and intangible things, material or immaterial things. For example, doing good for others, working for the good of the society, solving problems, creating products, etc., all originate first in the mind. Likewise, hatred, theft, killing, racism, and the likes also originate from the mind. We create the future by what and how we think.

Everyone is a product of their own imagination. If you imagine something negative happening, and you dwell on that thought until it sinks into your subconscious mind, you will soon attract what you envisioned. The converse is also true. If you allow the thoughts of good things to dominate your imagination, you will attract good things.

We may liken the human mind to a machine that has the capacity to both transmit and receive signals at different frequencies. It does that through the vibration of thoughts. Everything in life operates at their own frequencies, and each one of us can tune our minds to whatever frequency we allow. The results that we produce in our lives are physical equivalents of the thoughts that we transmit and receive. It is like tuning a radio to a particular channel. What frequency is your mind tuned to?
​
Everyone’s future starts from what and how they think. It is your responsibility to get the vibration of your thoughts into the frequency of wholesomeness, achievement, abundance, and every good thing of life. That channel is transmitting. Just tune in.

I tend to be very careful when people tell me that they are just being realistic. Sometimes those claiming to be realistic are actually being pessimistic but may not want to admit so. I am not saying there is no such thing as being realistic, but in most cases we fall into two categories: those who are realist-optimists or those who are realist-pessimists. Which one are you?

Are you inclined to thinking more about the worst-case scenarios, preoccupying your mind with the 1000 ways something may not work? You have probably been in planning meetings where someone quickly expresses serious concerns about a plan and tells you how the plan wouldn’t work but without any suggestion on how it may work. I hope that is not you. While the reality is obvious, great achievers do not focus on reality. They focus on possibilities instead. If you want to see how everything will play out perfectly before you start, you may as well stop trying.

What we all need is the big picture; the mental image of the best-case scenario that we are aiming for. Although we face the facts of life and the challenges (the realities) on the way to success, we do not allow them to distract us from the end-in-view. Those who focus on the worst-case scenario, who, in the name of being realistic, dwell on the negatives, will always be defeated. Success is a mindset. Whatever anyone becomes or whatever becomes the outcomes of one’s endeavour, the individual chooses them based on their state of mind.
​
Anyone desiring great achievements in life must continually think positively about great things. You cannot create a future for yourself that you have never imagined. Get rid of the negative thoughts. The worst-case scenario is not your scenario. Think possibilities. Think big. Achieve big.

We go through different moments in life. We have the highs and the lows of life, and many stages in-between. When we are having the mountaintop experience, it is typical to see many people around us, who help to share the joy. Human beings are naturally inclined to sharing good times with you. When you are successful and have a lot to give, you will enjoy the patronage of most people.

However, only a few people will stay with you when the water gets troubled. The best time to know who your true friends are is a time of need, lack or trouble. Those who truly love you will stay with you and provide you their shoulders to lean on. Those who were there just for the abundantly lavish moment will vanish into thin air. They will either turn their back on you or just become passive.

Where am I going with this? It is one of my life philosophies that “you are mostly useful if you are available when you are mostly needed”. Look around you and within your circle. Are there people that you have forgotten or have withdrawn from at their times of need? The way to prove your friendship or whatsoever connection you have with others is to show up when they need you. That is when it matters the most.
​
If you always show up only when things are good, rosy, and beautiful, what benefit would that be? If you give your friend a shoe when they already have five shoes, that is okay. But remember to show up with a can of milk when they do not have any. Do not turn your back on, or withdraw from, the people you have shared good times with, especially when their situation changes. Let us look for those in our lives and in our community whose hands we can hold. Show up when it matters the most.