How to become an attractive person

We all have opportunities to construct our personality. The image we project to others is what we made it to be. When I hear people complain that others just don’t like them, I wonder if that is just an alibi for a lack of personal effort to become a person that others desire to be with. How can everyone at your place of work or your community dislike you. Unless it is a conspiracy or an uninformed group effort to loathe someone, it is unlikely that everyone around you will hold you in disfavour all the time. Most of us have some work to do about how we allow others to perceive us. It is true that we do not have control over what others think about us, but we have control over how we present ourselves and the personality that we exude.

Have you ever seen anyone who is unfriendly but has lots of friends? Maybe not. People are attracted to those who are friendly. Like begets like. Affectionate people have lots of friendly people surrounding them. If you want to have friends, just become friendly. You cannot wear a face like that of the tiger, speak like you don’t care, and act like a totalitarian, and then expect good people to flock around you. We must break the walls and step down from our mountains to become attractive to good people. The way we talk, act, and relate with others must show that we care about them. The people we work with are more important than the work itself. Are you good to your colleagues, family, and those around you. When people are looking for who to be with, will they choose you?
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Meanwhile, it is not enough to just look good to others, we must also learn to do good to others. Good deeds have a lot of friends. When people know that you have something to offer, something to give to make their lives better, they will come around. Some for the goodies while others for the friendship. Someone may say, “what if they don’t appreciate my good deeds?” That’s alright. When you do good for the sake of doing good, you are fine. What matters is the good will, the love, and the positive energy that you bring to others. In fact, if you are looking for happiness, you’d better do good for others. It is the secret of fulfilment and satisfaction. 

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Actions for the week

1. One a scale of 1 to 10, with 1o being the highest, rate yourself on the friendliness scale. Are you friendly to others around you? Would you attract good people?
2. List two good things you can do for two specific people this week. Do them.
3. Share this message with those in your network. They, too, need to be attractive.

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A quote to remember
Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.” – Harold S. Kushner

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Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books