You had it neither before nor after

Most of the time in my life, I pursued what I wanted. I would determine where I wanted to go and head for the direction. I would put all my effort into achieving whatever I wanted. Part of my experience was that I didn’t always have what I wanted. There were lots of hits and misses. Each time I missed the mark, I would get disappointed but also gather strength to try again. In fact, I have had many failures and have faced brick walls on many occasions. Through my journey, I learnt that life’s success is like a fabric woven with a series of losses and wins. Sometimes we win and other times we lose. The road to success is not an expressway.

One thing that keeps me going is my understanding that nothing I missed achieving is worth my worry. If I set out to achieve something and I missed it, of what use would be my agitation and sleeplessness about it? The way I think is that I didn’t have it before I set out to achieve it and neither did I have it after. For example, if you were looking for a job and you applied for a job because you saw an advert in the newspaper, but was not hired after the interviews, you would have lost nothing. You did not have the job before you applied, and you didn’t have it after. If there were to be any change about you, it would be the fact that you learnt something during the process.
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Before you get too disappointed about what you didn’t achieve or what you missed, consider that your attempt was a good thing. Instead of worrying about what you didn’t get, you can spend the energy to reposition yourself for a better try next time. Each time we fail or miss the mark, we learn the lesson and keep moving forward. Whatsoever is your pursuit, one of the ways to handle disappointments on your way to success when you don’t get what you want is to remember that you had it neither before nor after. Maintaining a positive attitude will help you gather the strength to move forward.

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Actions for the week

1. Think about how you handled past disappointments on your journey to success. What did you learn? What would you do better next time?
2. How can you reposition yourself for something better than the one you missed? Write 3 action items. Then do them.
3. Share this message with those in your network who need encouragement. ​
   

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A quote to remember
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. – Martin Luther King Jr.

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Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books