You have probably heard the saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. I have always known that equal opportunities do not translate to equal outcomes. If you give two people the same opportunities, life has taught us that one will eventually turn out better than the other. It is just a matter of time. I also know that having a better head-start in life is a great thing, but it does not always mean that the one who started better will necessarily end better. I observed a common attribute of those who do very well for themselves. This attribute is always present irrespective of their level of education, family antecedent, previous or present opportunities or even whether they are currently successful or not. It is a fact that those who get ahead usually know what an average person does not know and do what an average person does not do.

As simple as it sounds, one of the key components of success in life is the ability to know what you need to know when you need to know it. Many people live in ignorance, and we know that ignorance is not a virtue. Let me tell you a secret; a secret that I discovered and have consistently applied in my own life. What you need to become a successful person is not as big as you think. If you can understand this secret, it will transform everything you do and you will have the ability to take charge of your success. Having knowledge is not enough. What you need to get everything else is to know slightly more and do slightly more than the average person in your area of endeavour. The key is being above average, having something beyond the regular.
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In my book, “Pursuit of Personal Leadership”, I mentioned that you do not need the genius of Albert Einstein or the artistry of Beethoven to get ahead in life. What you need is a little more than the average person. It is a push beyond what everyone else is doing. In fact, having better information than the majority will start you off. Then doing a little extra will take you far. It is the little extra that makes you extraordinary. I have seen people who do not appear talented or sophisticated lead and succeed in big undertakings. It is about standing out from the crowd to become outstanding.

Most achievers eventually get to their dream land. You may visualize the dream land as a state of fulfilment, a significant level of success or the pinnacle of a career. We reach higher levels of achievement at different stages of life. Some arrive early while others are late for the game. Whatever is the case, I perceive that it feels good to get to the most rewarding part of one’s endeavour. How did I know that? When people begin to experience significant success, command tremendous respect, or enjoy the accolades and praise of others, they usually don’t want it to end. That is when people have the tendency to become selfish, conceited, and insensitive. Most especially, when people possess power, they usually want to hold on to it, not letting it go.

Why do you think politicians continue to seek reelection and corporate executives fight to retain their positions? What is it about people not wanting to pass on the baton to anyone, continuing to sit tight in the driver’s seat? We need to remember that nothing lasts forever. Whether it is a good season or a bad one, time is transient. When we get into positions that matter, we can groom others to continue the work after us. The reason many people’s legacies and work vanish and are forever forgotten is because they held on for too long. They missed their chance to pass on the baton because of selfishness and greed.  
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Here is the point. You do not need to hold onto your current position, opportunity, or authority for too long. This world is sometimes like a board game where one person occupies the space left by another. Some will create space, while others will occupy the space. If you can create new spaces, go ahead, and allow others to step in the shoes you are leaving behind. You can blaze the trail while others trail the blaze. However, most people can only drive the car so far. You don’t need to do it until you run out of ideas and energy, or until you become irrelevant. Let another person take the steering wheel, allowing them to build on your legacy. 

Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books
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I hear a lot of people say, “oh that was not my intention” or “I didn’t mean to do that”. Sometimes when we hurt those close to us or we do something wrong, it is easy for us to explain what our intention was not. It is the best excuse for committing blunders. Afterall, the other person cannot see through our minds. They will have to believe us and take our word for it. Unfortunately, we are not judged by people based on our intentions or the state of our minds – only God can do that. When people relate with us, they only hear our words and see our actions. No one knows what you are thinking. They only see what you do. In that case, what you do and what you say are more important to people than what you think. In fact, how would you prove that what you do is not what you think?

Let us face the fact. We do what we think, and we say what we think. The content of our actions and the outputs of our lives reflect our thoughts and intentions. How can someone rob a bank and say that they didn’t mean to? Most of the things we do ensue from our premeditations and thoughts, whether we admit it or not. Nothing just happens, and nobody just does anything. When we err, instead of saying that we didn’t mean to, we can just admit the error and make necessary adjustments, whatever that means. Anyone that would change their actions and words must first change what is on the inside. We are products of our thoughts. Our intentions need to be right for our actions to be right. Yes, we make mistakes, but we can learn from them and become better at thinking better.
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Here is the truth. Our good intentions are not good enough until we show them through good actions. The only thing that others see are the outputs – what we produce. What we produce depends on what we possess inside of us. As you journey on in life, remember that we will take no notice of your good intentions, but we will always relate to your good actions; your good deeds and good words that left a good warmth in us.

There are different levels of authority in this world. Some individuals are so powerful that they command either fear or respect with a very large number of people. Some of these people are royalties, holders of positions of power in nations, owners of business empires, or even your boss at work. Authorities have boundaries and levels, and people use or misuse power as they deem fit. I have spent my entire life wondering what the real use or the necessity of power is. What I have seen in the world is the use of power in a way that makes people become fearful, resentful, rebellious or disoriented. The question is, “do we really need to use power?”. The truth is that most people are reduced to absolutely nothing if you take away the power or the authority given to them.

I want you to think carefully about this. Would those you work with, your family, your friends or community continue to follow your lead even if you are stripped of all the positional, political or economic power you currently possess? Should you and I not check whether people are following our leadership and influence rather than our authority and power? If you need to use your position or power to get things moving with the people around you, then something is fundamentally wrong somewhere. Real leaders do not need positions or titles. People follow real leaders because of their influence and not because of their power. Leadership thrives where power fails.
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So, how do you use power? Well, maybe power is not meant to be used but to be shared. The purpose of power is to empower other people. Power gets misused when it is in the wrong hands. There is an old saying that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That is true for those who usurp power unto themselves, believing that they are the only ones that have power and thereby disregard those who do not have power. Nevertheless, we all know that powers can shift base and tables can turn. All power and authority are transient. When you possess power, think about empowering others so they too can maximize their own lives. Do not use power over anyone. Do not lord anything over anyone. Remember that when power is gone, you will be left with your character, influence and the relationships you built or did not build. 

We all have opportunities to construct our personality. The image we project to others is what we made it to be. When I hear people complain that others just don’t like them, I wonder if that is just an alibi for a lack of personal effort to become a person that others desire to be with. How can everyone at your place of work or your community dislike you. Unless it is a conspiracy or an uninformed group effort to loathe someone, it is unlikely that everyone around you will hold you in disfavour all the time. Most of us have some work to do about how we allow others to perceive us. It is true that we do not have control over what others think about us, but we have control over how we present ourselves and the personality that we exude.

Have you ever seen anyone who is unfriendly but has lots of friends? Maybe not. People are attracted to those who are friendly. Like begets like. Affectionate people have lots of friendly people surrounding them. If you want to have friends, just become friendly. You cannot wear a face like that of the tiger, speak like you don’t care, and act like a totalitarian, and then expect good people to flock around you. We must break the walls and step down from our mountains to become attractive to good people. The way we talk, act, and relate with others must show that we care about them. The people we work with are more important than the work itself. Are you good to your colleagues, family, and those around you. When people are looking for who to be with, will they choose you?
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Meanwhile, it is not enough to just look good to others, we must also learn to do good to others. Good deeds have a lot of friends. When people know that you have something to offer, something to give to make their lives better, they will come around. Some for the goodies while others for the friendship. Someone may say, “what if they don’t appreciate my good deeds?” That’s alright. When you do good for the sake of doing good, you are fine. What matters is the good will, the love, and the positive energy that you bring to others. In fact, if you are looking for happiness, you’d better do good for others. It is the secret of fulfilment and satisfaction.