In this current age of social media, society has made us believe that those who have thousands of followers and millions of views on their posts are the influencers. People have also generally attributed influence on those orators who command an enormous amount of crowd as they appeal to the psyche of their listeners. Yes, you can influence a lot of people at once with an innumerable following on social media. Similarly, you can meddle with the thought process of many people by offering emotional speeches that are difficult to resist. However, that is not all that there is when it comes to influencing others. Influence is not just about entertainment and the playing of mind games. Real influence is one that makes people better for the good of society.

If you have an opportunity to connect with people through your daily endeavour at work, home or community, you have the best opportunity to be an influencer. You do not need the social media definition of an influencer before you acknowledge that you are one. What it requires for you to become an influencer is to let your story shine through, to become an inspiration for other people. You and I can be so good at what we do such that others trust our opinions and actions. Once people begin to see you as one to go to, learn from or take guidance from, then you are an influencer. That means that you can be the best of influencers whether the whole world knows you or not.
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How many people cross your path daily? Do you interact with others, work with others, live with others, lead others or care for others? Then, let them trust you to the extent of changing their own actions because of the weight of your character, expertise and the value you add to society. We should not be deceived; the number of social media following does not make the influencer but the value of contributions being made by an individual. There are lots of noise makers out there, who lack the character and the positive influence to build society. Stop seeking attention. Seek character and value instead. You too are an influencer.

One thing I have always observed is that leaders find it difficult to hide among the crowd. Each time I am amidst people doing things together, I try to watch to see who the real leader is. Most of the time, the real leader is not the one calling the shots and bossing everyone around. It is usually the one who sees the big picture, takes initiative, asks important questions, cooperates with others, and provides support for others. And that does not mean the one who has the biggest title in the group. Real leaders lead whether they are designated as leaders or not. The hallmark of leadership is the capacity to reproduce leadership in others. Those who help other people discover and develop who they are demonstrate the highest level of leadership.

Over a long period of time humans have exhibited leadership in various ways and in different fields of endeavour depending on where the strengths and passions of each person lie. Some people lead in their professional career, making significant contributions meaningfully and impactfully, and influencing others to do similarly. We have seen leadership in public space, sports, religion, entertainment, academia, etc. Meanwhile, when you see a lot of resources begin to flow in a certain direction, you are likely to see leaders on the other end. That is because leadership is valuable, and resources flow where value is created. In other words, one of the ways to guarantee success in whatsoever we are doing is to take on the leadership responsibility.
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The good news is that leadership does not mean power, position or money. Real leaders are not defined by conferred authority. Leaders are not crowned. Instead, leaders are grown. Each of us has the seed of leadership in us that we can nurture and grow. We can grow in skills, talent, perspective, empathy, compassion, emotional stability, resilience, resolve, influence and the ability to work with others. An individual can lead themself to great success while helping others to do the same. Through whom you are and what you do, you can become an inspiration to others. You can be the light in a world that is currently ravaged with darkness. You can be a veritable leader.

Actions for the week

1. As a leader, you must determine to be better today than you were yesterday. That is called growth. By growing daily, you will have the capacity to do bigger things.
2. Become an inspiration to others by defining a trajectory for yourself, getting on the journey and showing others how they too can join in the journey.

Share this message with those in your circle.

​Until another time,
Dele Ola, Award-Winning Author of Be A Change Agent
​Click HERE to learn about and get copies of Dele’s Books

I heard someone say that people use vulgar language because they have not added enough words to their vocabulary. Well, that may or may not be exactly true. I have seen many educated people with knowledge of lots of words but who prefer to use the offensive ones. It is a matter of our choices of words. It takes a significant amount of time to develop our everyday language. Most of the words we use regularly do not come out of our mouths by accident. We learn them over time, and mostly unconsciously as we expose ourselves to various media and associations. The worrisome part of using language is that of speaking without grace, using unkind words that have the power to pierce through another person’s heart like an arrow.

The way we use words is one of the most accurate indications of our level of maturity. Those who have emotional stability choose their words carefully. In fact, they have learnt to naturally speak in a modest and agreeable manner. That is not the same as being untruthful, but it means that we can communicate truth in a non-offensive way. There is no value in cutting others down with words, uttering disparaging remarks or using caustic expressions to describe issues. There is no virtue in being brutal with words. Moreso, it is impossible to roll back any words we utter, and everyone is responsible for their disposition to others.
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I know this for a fact. A gentle tongue can do a lot of wonders. I have seen gently spoken and well-thought-through words change the minds of people who would normally not yield. I have seen doors open to people because of the use of gracious words and kindheartedness. Here is a call to tenderness; a call to each one of us to become better at using our words. Even when others talk to us unkindly, we can show them a higher way with our gentle words. It may not be easy in practice, but we can all learn and grow. It is also interesting to note that your words reflect the content of your heart. Let your heart be full of tenderness and you will see your words change. Let your tongue be gentle.

Have you ever wondered why so many people can be attracted to a certain individual, as if that individual has a magical magnet that draws other people to them? I have met several people like that. They command respect, ooze affection and make it easy to get along with them. You may describe such people as charming, pleasant or lovely. An important aspect of being charming is that those who naturally draw others to themselves do not necessarily fit in with the general definition of physical beauty. However, it is as if something invisible makes them easy to love, work with or befriend. That makes me think that becoming desirable has more to do with what we produce from the inside of us. That includes how we think, talk, act and relate with those around us.

The fact is that someone may be physically beautiful and yet be annoyingly disgusting to relate with, while another person may not be that physically attractive but is very easy to love and do life with. The personality that you exude determines whether people will cling to you or resist you. No matter how handsome or beautiful you think you are, it takes an appealing personality to become a person people can love. No one becomes delectable just because they put on a nice-looking dress and wear the most expensive make-up. Real beauty comes first from the inside, and it radiates outward. Even if someone is mistaken for a likable personality because of their attractive physical appearance, it is only a matter of time before the hypnotic spell is broken.
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It is possible for you and me to become irresistible to others. A desirable and inviting personality can open doors to many opportunities. When people get closer to you to discover your positive vibe and your respectable character, it becomes easy for them to trust you and relate with you. That does not mean that there a no people that take advantage of good people to do bad things. Nevertheless, you are likely to attract the kind of person that you are. If your heart is right, you will attract the right kind of person to yourself. The main point here is to make yourself irresistible; to become someone others want to relate and do business with.